By Megan Thomas
It was my current read while I was solo traveling around Lisbon, and this is an admittedly average photograph of me reading it at Taberna das Flores – the first restaurant where I’ve not felt uncomfortable eating alone (possibly because it’s so tiny, or because the food was too delicious to notice). Regardless, this reading setting somehow feels fitting given the singular nature of the novel – the protagonist’s internal narrative is the eyepiece through which the reader is shown the world. Joke’s on us because it’s more of a kaleidoscope.
I learnt about this book when it was shortlisted for the Nota Bene Prize and I heard Sheena Patel speaking about it at the winner’s ceremony, which I was thrilled to attend with nb magazine. She spoke about the deliciously modern notion of “stalking” people online. Much less malicious than the traditional meaning of the word, though unquestionably toxic in other ways.
I think many among us (certainly those reading this on Instagram) have at some stage been trapped in an obsessive online spiral. Whether clicking through an ex’s new girlfriend’s Facebook profile, or watching the ex’s Instagram story via a friend’s account so they don’t know it’s you, it’s a behavior that is captured remarkably well through both the staccato prose structure as well as the main character’s experience with an irresistible, transparent, married narcissist. Moreover, I found the combination of willful ignorance and total understanding incredibly relatable – the protagonist always manages to justify her actions, in spite of logic, but is simultaneously being treated really terribly (and in turn, treating others really terribly).
The chapters are short and act as a mirror to the way most people engage with the world at large, but especially with social media – bite-sized and sporadic, often non-linear, always attention-grabbing. If I’m honest, this structure is not dissimilar to how my brain works, but perhaps that’s not as universal as I’d like to think it is (don’t you love it when a book can make you realise that?!)
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